Wednesday, February 23, 2011

To Heal Or Not To Heal....

Recently I came to the startling realization that not everyone who says they want to be helped actually wants to be helped. For quite a while now I've been pining over a client who has some serious mental issues that are manifesting into physical issues. Despite my efforts to offer a solution, which I know in my heart would ease the trauma and open up a path to true healing, my efforts have been in vain. For what ever reason I think that some people become so comfortable in their roles as victim the very thought of healing brings a flood of new and scary emotions. For example, if someone was afflicted with a debilitating disease and a doctor came to them and offered a 100% guaranteed fix for the illness, you would think that person would jump on the opportunity to be well again. This apparently is not the case, and as I've discovered is so much more complex than I have ever imagined it would be. To those of us that don't suffer from illness, injury or mental health issues it can be very confusing and near impossible for us to understand why anyone would hold onto the pain. Why on earth would someone NOT want to be well, healed and happy? I know that I certainly would not want to live a life of suffering, misery and reliance on others.

I think the answer lies in the frightening reality that if a person were to be totally well and healed they would then be forced to become productive members of society. They would no longer be able to blame their issues on any other source except themselves. They would have to function in a manner that society deems "normal". They would be forced into self-responsibility. I am certainly not a doctor but I do have a pretty good inclination through the assistance of the Universe and Spirit how to help others move forward toward the path to healing.

 I believe that sometimes we humans become so used to our afflictions that the very thought of living without them is simply terrifying. As a healer and intuitive this realization of knowing hit me like a two by four and I was completely blind-sided. I have invested so much time and energy into being able to help and heal others that the thought of having a client that refuses my help for fear of having to let go of their crutches just baffles me.... but apparently this was a message from the Universe for me to learn and a very important one. I can offer a helping hand but I cannot force anyone to accept it. Only those who truly want to help themselves can be assisted by others. 

Thank you Universe for once again bringing clarity to my life and helping me be the best that I can be.


  1. Wow.. powerful post!
    I've always told my kids, you need to put something between you and a drowning victim in order to save them. Otherwise, they'll push you down in order to get one gasp of air... killing you and themselves in the process.. you can throw the lifeline, but unless they choose to take it, there is nothing more you can do.. really well said!! Thank you for sharing your insights!

  2. You are spot on with that and I will take it down the rabbit hole one step further. I ran across someone in my reiki practice who did not want to become well because she used her issues and illnesses as a tool to get what she wanted from people. She used emotional blackmail techniques on a regular basis to get anything she needed or wanted on the basis that she was ( insert crisis or disorder) You really need to let those fish swim by you can't help them.

  3. I've known this for a long time. Learned it from my own family. My mom is a classic example...I think its Dr. Dyer(dont quote me, I could be wrong) who says those types have 'martyr complex'. There is also another lady I know who does hypnotherapy who said the same thing you did...unless the person ACTUALLY wants help, she cant help them. I also forgot who said this: If you think you can, your right. If you think you cant, your right. LOL Once I know a person is that type...I move on. I cant take the drama. <3

  4. I'm glad you've know it for a long time. I, unfortunately did not. Here I pose another question. When it is someone you love and care about do you simply walk away because of the "drama" or do you persevere until you have exhausted every effort to help? When do you draw the line?

  5. All one can do is offer assistance. It is the other's choice to do what they will with the healing information that is shared. I have learned this the hard way. It has kept me from doing readings as I was overly responsible to whether a client would use the information. If another gets secondary benefits from the situation they are in, then healing will not take place. Honor their path. Have compassion for their journey...then let it go.